i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
