Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
