I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
