I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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