Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
