he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
