hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
