Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
