I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
