She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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