and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I didn't notice because vodka
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
