i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
