You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
