You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
