Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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