Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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