Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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