I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
