How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
