he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
