Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
