just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
