Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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