I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
