these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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