its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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