I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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