So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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