Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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