Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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