the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
