She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
a search helicopter?!
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
