my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
