I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I can't turn off my feet"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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