Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
