Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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