Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
