IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
