It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
