she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
