Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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