My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
