try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
