someone threw a dead crab at me
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
