I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
