I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
