Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
