I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just pynch a tree in the face
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
