I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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