We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
